Speculation he’ll sign Executive Order renaming it “Father Nature”
Don’t Feed The Animals, A Series of Satirical Musings by: Josh Lorenzo
Washington D.C. – The President, who is no stranger to early morning tweets, continued his critique of Mother Nature today, with a series of comments that has left the meteorological community reeling, and many political figures wondering as to the timing of the remarks.
The United States hasn’t seen this kind of bullying on display by our President in at least an hour and a half.
It’s unclear what led to the social media confrontation, but aides to the President have stated that he has become increasingly annoyed at the fluctuating temperatures that have occurred in recent months. It is their conclusion that this fluctuation is hampering his ability to deny that climate change is real. Compounding the issue is the fact that Mother Nature is a woman.
“He hates to lose, especially to powerful women he can’t control” said one aide, speaking on condition of anonymity. This aide overheard the President state that a man, such as Old Man Winter, wouldn’t change his mind as much as Mother Nature does.